LightsOfHope's Xanga

calvin is still alive =)

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 03:44:05 GMT

hahas! i still alive . sorry sorry all. for not updating...
lately been inside maplestory playing. hahas! kill time and also can isolate from the world for a while..
oh and for the whole month of june, every sunday have competition happening at tampines 209. do come down and be some KPO =)

yesterday went out with someone.. catch a movie , played pool, had mosburger. nothing much to update, jus an outing which i feel not worth it.
considered the fact that i am very tired and stuff, picked up the phone call, and heard that voice, immediately cant reject that outing.. did something that i dont used to do.. but in return was jus comment and comments..

why do i have to make myself feel so worst? like some idiot who is following someone who dont give a damm .
oh well... at least i tried to keep that person feel occupied.. counted as 1 good deed bahs..
i know.. now is the down part of my life.. has to walk through it no matter what... =)

for ANYONE out there... i am very worn out already.. if possible... do make me feel occupied...
i will glady appreciate..

i am so so so worn out now....
thanks "Happy" ... your thoughts really have my mind rolling awhile... =)
i bet u r someone who is good to share thoughts with ..

public holiday !

Mon, 19 May 2008 05:51:58 GMT

today is a public holiday ! HoHOhohOhO!!!
i jus finished romantic princess !
finally ! T.T

to someone: hmms.. phobia can be overcome... if one more step is allowed, i will go forward and revive the past =)
meanwhile.. i jus have to wait.. and hope..

hmms.. lets see.. yesterday was too tired to go out again for movie with darren and manfred.. damm.. put them airplane.. surely r pissed with me =X
oh boy.. should be ok la.. i HOPE. hahas!
today weather seems good.. cycling is a good choice.. but nowadays exam are around the corner.. not much people are free.. oh well.. =)

lets do some reflection =)
there was one night.. i had a lecture from a mother of 2 ....
although her approach is kind of scary, but end up peaceful.
some stuffs she said, i felt it is very correct, guys wont have disadvantage in any sense, girls are the one who is always on the low end.. truely correct.
i been blog hopping lately.. in the past, i spend my time understanding what makes a relationship turns sour, how come a small group of lover can last so long..
now i wanna learn something new...
that is.. learn from the lover who have long relationships... what is commitment and trust...

someone let me know a very true fact 3 years ago.. that is, i can never be a person without feeling after hurting others.. i am way too much concern to other ppl feelings..
even if i hurt the person, end up i will feel guilty, end got affected too...
this is very very unhealthy !

being like this is totally not advisable.. in life there are many different kind of people..
u will get hurt by them and they are happily moving on with thier life..
being the one who hurt people and yet worry for others... will have no good deeds in return...
so dont be naive calvin ..

sometime.. i very envy flirts... as in real kind of flirts..
with different girlfriend, can be in relation with many girl at a time..
after breaking, still have other girls..
wont know what is heartache..
i been through before.. the feeling is.. perfect.

but.. i will always remember, my lesson learnt..
once a flirt met his first true love in life..
it will be the time he knows what is heartache..

-the end-

blah blah blahs~ =D

Mon, 12 May 2008 13:31:32 GMT

hahas!
i got some pictures!!!
okok.. jus 2 in fact... -.-"

today ... today...
went out with manfred for movie.. speed racer ! omg.. damm cool la !!!
car that fly around.. spin around jump around !!!
if this kind of car really exist in the world.. accident and death rate sure rise till dunno how much !!!
anyway.. was nice la.. although is like 2hr15mins!

after movie.. went to starbuck slack awhile .. while waiting for C to come down...
waited for like ... ermmms.. 30mins on the actual time? been 3 years since we last seen !
hahas!
after meeting.. slack slack slack... i went to toilet.. den saw crystal .. talk awhile..
she jus got back from badminton competition.. poor thing la. lose to vjc.. but all the best !
den went back to starbuck... after that go to aijisan... eat eat eat...

here's the pics!

taken by manfred, damm.. he is such a stalker.. great potential =x

Volcano RAMEN!!!! OMG! this baby is such a KILLER!!! I SWEAT while eating !!! T.T
BUT ! i FINISHED THE WHOLE BOWL !!!!
3 Cheers for CALVIN ^^"

Sentosa outing ... 03/05/2008

Mon, 05 May 2008 07:05:18 GMT

Alright.. although my organising plan for sentosa failed !!!
but i still make my trip down sentosa with other group of people...
hahas!
man.. making an outing is so tough when not much friends is in ur phone list ! oh my...
alright.. no photo was taken during the outing.. mainly becos alot of new faces.. hahas!
wasnt really fun for the sentosa outing.. but i hope i made some worthy friends! =)
and watch sunset with someone too ! like finally so cool ~

shall try to plan outing more often... regardless will there be any success anot...
jus hope for the best =)
alright the outing is a short post... cos not much happening stuff =(

super sians

Fri, 02 May 2008 15:10:50 GMT

omg. quite sometime nv blog le..

oh well here i go..

labour day i am working.. damm my rotten luck..
tried being an organiser for sentosa outing.. yet the responses is like shit !
oh well.. try harder next time man...

things is so fuck up recently man.. time to get some life out of all these shit!
can anyone like teach me how? like socialising?
omg.. know more babes or stuff? so i can organise outing .... fuck up man!
no girls all sian sian like dont wan go... what the hell man...

calvin really no girls to jio out.. no one freaking believes me ! damm..
am i like someone girls's agency !!

tried to organise outing jus for chilling ma! darn...
nvm.. supposed to go clubbing tonight... but darren injured his leg... so there goes the outing for tonight.. and i am now here blogging and rotting.. wtf?!

tml.. gonna be a FUCK UP day i assume .. rot at home do nothing bahs~
FED UP man !

Zouk Outing =)

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 04:09:16 GMT

The gang out to zouk ! =)

alright... lets see.. time to blog..
hmmms.. yesterday was quite tired...
afternoon rots at home, till around 4pm...
den.. cannot ta han liao.. so take bicycle go ride around...
together with my bag pack... inside includes shoe, jersey, towel !
den ride ride ride..... called boon keng.. ask him wan play bball not.
den he says at bedok.. so i cycle all the way to bedok ! OMG !

supposing time to be 6pm !
end up i wait for 2hrs! cos i reach around 5.30!
den they 7.30pm...
qi si wo.. T.T

den play play play..around 9pm i go home.. cos need to meet the rest to zouk..
hahas. end up cant get in time to meet them.. took cab down.. and reach there jus in time before they go into the entrance !!! PHEW =p

met jacqueline ... omg.. been long never see her... chat with her ..
talk talk talk..
she was with her friend.. den end up she keeps drinking.. until so drunk.. walk stairs also cannot walk..
lousy =x
LoL !
luckily i hold her .. else she gonna fall like...OMG =x
hmmms.. not fang xin about her.. so follow her to her friends.. den i join back my peeps =)

hmmms... yesterday was fun !
played until 5am in the morning ! damm shiok !
after that went for supper... damm idiotic...
so EX ! 5 bucks per plate . CRAZY...
den ingredient so little..
NIAO ~~~

see got what......
oh yeahs... 6 more days...
to 3 on 3 basketball @ MDIS queenstown...
boring competition i suppose..
oh well..

nvm. this coming sunday ! i might be organising sentosa outing ! =D
pray hard i get babes here and there..
hunks there and here !
LOLS!
but i am a lousy organiser.. oh well... shall see by then =p

si yuan ting! nv tag my blog.. =(
lousy princess sister i miss you la ! =p
Alright ! shall end my post here..
going for movie at downtown east later ^^

ps: i have a weird dream 2 days back..
i dreamt of this girl...
this girl whom i never see before..
whom i never dreamt before...
a dream that seems so true...
what can this dream means to me?....
i wonder... =)

quote of the day : shakespears says .... blah blah blah blah ~ =x

voice of my heart: love has reach its limit.. its over and i am not looking back already.
looking forward.. to her.. who i love.

Day out =)

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 16:19:34 GMT

Alright.. yawns.. today is a.. TIRING day =(
morning was watching x-family.. den halfway through..
leying ask me.. go pei her buy friend's birthday present.. so i was thinking.. rot home also nothing to do..
den i suggested movie... papa run papa ~
BUT.. me this late king.. was late .. so movie cancelled =x
den walk around tampines mall and century square...
she have got her friend a ducky and a napkin .. lols cute la ..for a guy's present.. omg =x

den after that.. went to starbuck...
got myself caramel frap as usual... and got her a cup of mocca frap with hazzlenuts.. cool man !
den went around shop here and there..
she got me a super freeze when her hand touch my neck la!!!
damm COLD can T.T

went to addidas shop.. wah kaO! they are on sales man!
bags are cheap.. so if u all likes addidas.. drop by, u may get a bag u fancy at low price =D
i caught one in the shop..
quite nice lehs.. but abit small.. still considering.. oh well.. ...

den after that.. went to Din Tai Feng ... at Tampines mall to meet up with my mum and sister for dinner..
leying went off to pass friend present...
after dinner.. friends ask me go simei 106 play bball =D
hahas.. so jus go lor...
met leying, den take bicycle go together... she sit there like 3hrs?! omg... pei fu.. !
not very fun.. cos ppl down there alittle only..
oh well.. after bball.. went to buy bubble tea... den cycle her back home..
she lent me her bicycle back home.. =)
nice of her... ^^

had an enjoyable day out... =)

quote of the day : never look back if you think you will regret... never move on if you cant put down everything...

my heart voice : fate is so mysterious... that kills one's curiousity... =

As Expected =)

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:35:30 GMT

OMG...
seems like alot of people is getting sick nowadays,,
even me... i have been weak for almost 1 week already... =(
sians..

oh oh oh.. sharon. a new friend i made lately.. she going to singapore poly !
so cool... tomorrow is her first day.. wish her luCk!! BLESS * =p
oh.. and not forgetting.. a nice drama i pick up lately..
"X Family" ... super nice lehs i think..
now i am watching it at.... http://www.mysoju.com/
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED ....!

OH!!! AND AND AND !
CURSE THAT BLOODY IDIOT... who didnt return my princess sister's phone !!
may he/she die of handphone explosion ! =xXxx
or or or... lost his/her phone everytime !!
OR OR OR drop his/her handphone into the toilet bowl right at this MOMENT ! =x
oh my god.. i am mean.. lols!
alright end of cursing... =p

Guess what...
i know is random.. but....
i miss her... somehow.. way back to perth...
oh well.. emotion boiling.. =)
cant i find a girl who is ... oh well.. forget it...
i have been working hard to be faithful in r/s ...
i believed that i succeeded !

but well... i dont blame anyone who is not faithful in the r/s...
cause i know its hard to be...
yes... once a flirt.. what position am i to hate people who are flirt?
BUT.. no. i dont give a damm.. calvin.zeyer.. me.. dont like flirt..
regardless who..

so please...
anyone.. stay faithful to your own boyfriend...
unless, there are not faithful to u.. den u give them a taste of their own doing...

a reflection to be mentioned...
i do have a gf last month ..
admitted =)
but broke up already. so back to single.

to angel aka apple :
i have nothing much to say to you..
ermm.. disappointed is the word.
i said before.. guys out there might be dying to have you...
but, not for me.. i wont accept any girls in my life.. who is to be flirt...
initially i thought you are not, that is why i willing to step in and try it out...
willing to sacrifice certain stuff to gain ur trust..

you. cannot have the world obeying you.. u destruct layers by layers of trust that i put in for you..
and you wan me to get back to you like nothing happened?
who u think you are.. i was waiting for you to prove to me.. but yet what shit you proved..
what sacrifice and action you did to make me feel better to be with you? none !
so dont blame me for forcing you on this break up..

i wont say break, is becos the reason i have is 'i dont wan to have a girlfriend who is not able to settle down with jus one guy in her life'
which sounded like i am such a control and bossy boyfriend.. which i dont..
i dont care who you talk with, as long as know ur limits . can already.
you push ur luck too far..

your reason for break? u said whatever u said seems to be no use.. u see nothing in us to continue.. so its over..
1 word, bullshit.
by words meant nothing.

i said to you before..
'dont ever do it again' . i guess u didnt treat it seriously.

now is 11.30pm.. as usual...
12midnight click... everything is the past...
no turning back...
forgotten.. poof...
i wont hold back anything after that

alright end of reflection...

omg.. seems like a long entry today...
exploit of personal life... sorry if some of u dont know i am attached last month...
cos .. i wan it to be stable.. den announce... =)
seriously.. i have been taking r/s with care & concern ...
jus that i cant find someone who totally fits in...
D ... is the only girl till now.. i am willing to go all out for...
but impossible has made clear to me..
so maybe... there will still be someone in future.. who makes me able to go all out for...
i believe so....

Quote of the day : Everything is predestined ... life is just like a path... walk through it with pride... =)

Predicts the unpredictable...

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:21:44 GMT

lets talk about thursday night !!!
went clubbing at MOS..darn.. its super pack.
hahas.
but well.. thought it would be fun.. but end up so sucky.. =(
some bring thier girls go else where. den some go other places to drink..
den end up left me and a few of the malay collegues..
they had fun dancing with other people ... lOls.
Poor me jus dance alone.. slack around =(
and... had a bad stomach throughout the night.. so didnt really enjoy myself either.. oh boy oh boy... =(

lets talk about today..

ermm.. went movie at vivo city...
the show is.. Definetly Maybe. heys its a nice show.. worth to watch man !
RECOMMENDED =D

today not much to talk about actually.. after movie den went facial at bugis...
hahas. as usual.. i am not recognisable after facial..
so many red dots after facial la ! T.T

what else... ermmm..
nothing much le bahs..
had a bad day afterall ...

not as bad though.. at least i talk with some people that will try and cheer me up ..
thanks princess ting.. i know u be looking at this entry... =)
thanks.. huiying? hahas. random chat with her.. end up she also quite nice to talk with..
and make me have fetish for cheesecake in the middle of the night!! omg.. T.T

thats all for now..
i am kind of sick of excuses...

Quote of the day : Never destroy the things that u once had it without any effort ... Cherish.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 07:53:42 GMT

presenting......................... Granado Espada !
*clap clap* -.-
hahas! this is the 80 bucks stuff i talking about man..
*sweat*

oh man.. calvin is sick... =(
dunno why man.. out of sudden one..
must be 1 of my brain wire sot sot...
den makes me sick...
weather isnt good today either... rain so so heavily man...

initially have facial appointment at 5pm.. but given that i am half dead looking..
i guess i will jus change it to friday...
hope by then i'll be fine already... tml working.. sigh sigh.. hope tml will feel better.. so can go work. =D

quote of the day: calvin is to sick to think of one.. =x